I recently asked some people to pray for me. I had been struggling to trust God as I wait on Him to move in a certain area in my life(...still am...). I asked them to pray for me that I would learn to be patient. The response unsettled me:
--"Honey, don't say that. You know what happens when you ask God for patience." (i.e. your life gets really hard)
--"Ask God for anything, just don't ask Him for patience."
Being the middle-child, questioning, ex-homeschooler (please, there is no such thing as an ex-homeschooler) that I am I pushed further, "But I need it (patience) [I need God to change me in this way, no matter what it costs]."
The responses came back very similarly:
--"God will give you enough challenges, you don't need to go asking for more."
--"I made the mistake of asking God for patience once, I will never do it again."
*these things were said with love and the best of intentions, and I do not resent or look down on the people who gave me this advice. I just want to unpack the mindset behind what was said. I tend to think the same way, but because of recent things the Lord has been teaching me, I wanted to share some thoughts*
I later vented to my husband (he is so patient with me and never accuses me of yelling at him, which sometimes I essentially AM doing when I vent, even though I am not angry at HIM). I asked, "If my life gets hard after I pray for patience, does that make God any less loving? Any less in control? If Elijah watches me throughout his life check the semantics of my prayers (because, let's face it, that's essentially what I would be doing if I inserted a word such as peace or perseverance), what am I really teaching him about God? - that He is vindictive and ready to strike if I "slip up" and use a word that will "allow" Him to bring trouble on my life? That is not the God of the Bible! "He does not treat us as our sins (or semantics) deserve" says Psalm 103. Do I really believe that I can manipulate the intentions and interventions of my God in this way? Am I so afraid that I will not have a happy, carefree, healthy, wealthy life (as promised by no one, ever, anywhere in the Bible)that I will ask only for the things that I think will satisfy my cravings and not my need to be more like Christ? If I have to suffer in order to learn patience, so be it! My God knows and loves me well enough to know what I need and how I need it. Can't I trust Him in that?
I realized that if I want the American dream, I will ask God for things that make me happy. If I want Jesus, I will ask God to make me more like Him - even if it hurts.
As I study the Gospels, one of the main things that has hit me about Jesus on earth is that He lived a really UNcomfortable life while being 100% obedient to God. Sometimes in America we can get that principle a little backwards - if we obey God, then He will reward us with STUFF. Maybe we're not all expecting material possessions, but don't we tend to think that if we follow God and what His Word says, then people will respect us, we will move up the corporate ladder because of our blameless work ethic and upstanding moral principles, and we will live long and healthy lives because of it? There is a popular religious trend in our country today that hinges on the idea that if you are being a good Christian, you will be rich and healthy. I am not going to name names and point fingers on this blog, but if you hear anything like that in a church or on TV, please run away as fast as you can. It is completely contrary to Scripture and is therefore a false gospel.
Maybe we are forgetting that the world is not friendly toward God's Word, so if we are living in accordance with it, shouldn't we expect to butt heads with the world more often than we befriend it? And maybe we are forgetting that Jesus did not treasure earthly wealth or status, but operated in God's economy of riches and was still monetarily poor all his life. A lot of people looked down on him from the day he was born, because He was born out of wedlock. He did not own a house. He did not have a life insurance policy. Whatever He did, there was a gang of religious leaders - the respected church leaders of the day - who were seeking to find some way to convict Him of heresy so they could kill Him because He claimed to be the Messiah they said they were "looking for." He died at the age of 33 - while men were mocking His true purpose and spitting on the love of God that He came to show.
My friends, Jesus' life was not long, healthy, wealthy, or wise. But He glorified His Father in obedience for the entirety of those 33 years.
I'm not saying that I am going to go sell everything I have, try to make myself un-liked and ridiculed by people who don't know Jesus, and put a stupid, fake smile on my face when my life is in shambles in the name of "being like Jesus." What I am saying is that I am challenged through Christ's example to make knowing and treasuring Jesus the highest aim of my life. If I treasure Jesus' example and His words as I know them better, my life is in proper perspective. My priorities are in line. I am not afraid. I can ask Him boldly for the things I need - even "scary" things, like patience - because I know that His heart is for me and He will not give me what I cannot hold up under by His strength. If I need to endure some challenges in my life to learn patience, so be it. This life is not about me and my comforts; it is about Jesus and His glory.
So, I am praying for patience - because I am impatient and do not trust God to provide for my needs and tend to my heart like I should and like He always, always does. I need to rest in His strength, and if it takes a difficult situation to get me there, I trust that He knows that is what I need. Sometimes I withhold things from my son because they will hurt him (think knives, fire, scalding surfaces, ledges, etc)and he has no concept of danger, so....he wails his little head off. It breaks my heart but it doesn't weaken my resolve to protect him from things that hurt him. If I love my son and I am imperfect, how much more perfectly and more often must my Father do this same thing for me? I am far from there, but I am learning that there is much more joy and purpose in building Jesus' kingdom than in building my own.
What about you? How have you been learning more about how to treasure Jesus?
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Children: A Blessing from the Lord
I had the most troubling conversation with the clerk at the grocery store today. I was out for coffee with a friend and stopped to pick up some diapers on the way home (I'll give it to him, I had the "mommy" stamp automatically, due to my purchase. But I wear it with pride. AND I was also wearing makeup, so...bam.) Anyway, the conversation went like this:
Clerk: "Hello how are you today?"
Me: "I am great, how are you?"
Clerk: (looks at my purchase) "I'm great; I don't have to change any diapers today."
Me: (flabbergasted, but trying to maintain composure) "Well, I'm telling you, they're worth it."
Clerk: (skeptically) "Reallllly?"
Me: "Ab-so-lu-tely."
Clerk: "You said that kind of slowly - reluctantly." (chuckles)
Reluctantly? How about emphatically? I left the grocery store venting to my poor friend about the rudeness of this person and how our whole society is going to suffer and is already suffering because we don't value children.....I was a little worked up. But later as I thought about it, I realized my shock was valid although my initial response was a little over-done. :)
I don't want to get preachy, but I was so heartbroken by this exchange. But maybe it will make you stop think as I did. Is this really how some people in my generation view children? - as a nuisance, a chore, a bother?
There are a host of issues that stem from a distain for the blessing of children, which I will not cover here. I think the thing that hit me the most was sadness for this man who, if he continues to love his "freedom" from changing diapers enough to never become a father, will never know the joy of raising children.
I'm not pretending that motherhood is a dream of snuggling, nursing, a perfect house and a perfectly sane mama. Please. I have a 15-month old who climbs bookshelves and eats garbage and drinks toilet water whenever he gets the chance. My life is cray-cray. But it's beautiful at the same time, and points me inevitably to Jesus. The moments when my son brings me a book, plops down in my lap, and breaths a huge sigh of relief as I read to him reminds me how I can always find rest and total acceptance in my Father's lap. When he is hurt, scared, or tired and comes running to my arms, knowing that I will hold him, reminds me that my Father is not begrudging but eager. When he chooses not to listen to me, I feel some of the pain my Father feels when I don't do what he says. This beautiful, sanctifying journey of parenthood is not something I would wish for anyone to miss.
I am not saying that you must have children to be happy or to know God deeply. To my friends who are still awaiting this blessing: I long and weep and pray for you. I yearn to feel how you feel. Your love for your unborn - no, your not-yet-existing - children is beautiful and precious to God.
Let's all stop and check our hearts on how we look at children in our day and age. Even if we don't have children of our own, do we see them as a nuisance? Style-crampers? "Cute....but too much work for me!" ? According to Psalm 127:3a "Behold, children are an inheritance [a gift] from the Lord."
If you don't have children yet, enjoy this time in your life! You can sleep in on the weekends, take spontaneous trips, enjoy a glass of wine whenever you feel like it, eat hot meals 24/7, 3 times a day! But please look forward to your future children with joy. They bring more joy to life than I would have ever dreamed. And please don't pity those of us moms who do not have those things; we would not trade our kids for all the hot meals and wake-less nights in the world. And we're not just saying that to look like we have it all together (we know we don't). There are hard days and I go to the grocery store for nothing but diapers and rotisserie chicken and I get tired of cold meals and I just want a nap....but that can never for a second stack up against the blessing of getting to participate in raising the next generation of restful, hopeful Christ-followers in a world of increasing unrest and hopelessness...OR the endless number of kisses (I have a boy....they are tackle-and-slobber on your face, whatev)that I am awarded each and every day, for no other reason than that I have been able to give birth to my own flesh and bone (no matter how much people ask me if I did anything to get him here, because he looks just like his dad. Yes. Yes I did. For 40 hours. Anyway...)
If you are reading this and you are a mother, be encouraged. You hold one of the greatest secrets to real joy - obedience to Jesus! And in the form of raising your children to know the God of the Bible - what a privilege! Let's seek to maintain that mindset when we are struggling not to find our worth in the repetitive tasks of motherhood instead of in Jesus Christ, our Hope. And let's seek to speak that blessing over our children - that they are a blessing, a heritage, a reward, to us from God.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
Are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them."
Psalm 127:3-5a
Clerk: "Hello how are you today?"
Me: "I am great, how are you?"
Clerk: (looks at my purchase) "I'm great; I don't have to change any diapers today."
Me: (flabbergasted, but trying to maintain composure) "Well, I'm telling you, they're worth it."
Clerk: (skeptically) "Reallllly?"
Me: "Ab-so-lu-tely."
Clerk: "You said that kind of slowly - reluctantly." (chuckles)
Reluctantly? How about emphatically? I left the grocery store venting to my poor friend about the rudeness of this person and how our whole society is going to suffer and is already suffering because we don't value children.....I was a little worked up. But later as I thought about it, I realized my shock was valid although my initial response was a little over-done. :)
I don't want to get preachy, but I was so heartbroken by this exchange. But maybe it will make you stop think as I did. Is this really how some people in my generation view children? - as a nuisance, a chore, a bother?
There are a host of issues that stem from a distain for the blessing of children, which I will not cover here. I think the thing that hit me the most was sadness for this man who, if he continues to love his "freedom" from changing diapers enough to never become a father, will never know the joy of raising children.
I'm not pretending that motherhood is a dream of snuggling, nursing, a perfect house and a perfectly sane mama. Please. I have a 15-month old who climbs bookshelves and eats garbage and drinks toilet water whenever he gets the chance. My life is cray-cray. But it's beautiful at the same time, and points me inevitably to Jesus. The moments when my son brings me a book, plops down in my lap, and breaths a huge sigh of relief as I read to him reminds me how I can always find rest and total acceptance in my Father's lap. When he is hurt, scared, or tired and comes running to my arms, knowing that I will hold him, reminds me that my Father is not begrudging but eager. When he chooses not to listen to me, I feel some of the pain my Father feels when I don't do what he says. This beautiful, sanctifying journey of parenthood is not something I would wish for anyone to miss.
I am not saying that you must have children to be happy or to know God deeply. To my friends who are still awaiting this blessing: I long and weep and pray for you. I yearn to feel how you feel. Your love for your unborn - no, your not-yet-existing - children is beautiful and precious to God.
Let's all stop and check our hearts on how we look at children in our day and age. Even if we don't have children of our own, do we see them as a nuisance? Style-crampers? "Cute....but too much work for me!" ? According to Psalm 127:3a "Behold, children are an inheritance [a gift] from the Lord."
If you don't have children yet, enjoy this time in your life! You can sleep in on the weekends, take spontaneous trips, enjoy a glass of wine whenever you feel like it, eat hot meals 24/7, 3 times a day! But please look forward to your future children with joy. They bring more joy to life than I would have ever dreamed. And please don't pity those of us moms who do not have those things; we would not trade our kids for all the hot meals and wake-less nights in the world. And we're not just saying that to look like we have it all together (we know we don't). There are hard days and I go to the grocery store for nothing but diapers and rotisserie chicken and I get tired of cold meals and I just want a nap....but that can never for a second stack up against the blessing of getting to participate in raising the next generation of restful, hopeful Christ-followers in a world of increasing unrest and hopelessness...OR the endless number of kisses (I have a boy....they are tackle-and-slobber on your face, whatev)that I am awarded each and every day, for no other reason than that I have been able to give birth to my own flesh and bone (no matter how much people ask me if I did anything to get him here, because he looks just like his dad. Yes. Yes I did. For 40 hours. Anyway...)
If you are reading this and you are a mother, be encouraged. You hold one of the greatest secrets to real joy - obedience to Jesus! And in the form of raising your children to know the God of the Bible - what a privilege! Let's seek to maintain that mindset when we are struggling not to find our worth in the repetitive tasks of motherhood instead of in Jesus Christ, our Hope. And let's seek to speak that blessing over our children - that they are a blessing, a heritage, a reward, to us from God.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
Are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them."
Psalm 127:3-5a
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