I had the most troubling conversation with the clerk at the grocery store today. I was out for coffee with a friend and stopped to pick up some diapers on the way home (I'll give it to him, I had the "mommy" stamp automatically, due to my purchase. But I wear it with pride. AND I was also wearing makeup, so...bam.) Anyway, the conversation went like this:
Clerk: "Hello how are you today?"
Me: "I am great, how are you?"
Clerk: (looks at my purchase) "I'm great; I don't have to change any diapers today."
Me: (flabbergasted, but trying to maintain composure) "Well, I'm telling you, they're worth it."
Clerk: (skeptically) "Reallllly?"
Me: "Ab-so-lu-tely."
Clerk: "You said that kind of slowly - reluctantly." (chuckles)
Reluctantly? How about emphatically? I left the grocery store venting to my poor friend about the rudeness of this person and how our whole society is going to suffer and is already suffering because we don't value children.....I was a little worked up. But later as I thought about it, I realized my shock was valid although my initial response was a little over-done. :)
I don't want to get preachy, but I was so heartbroken by this exchange. But maybe it will make you stop think as I did. Is this really how some people in my generation view children? - as a nuisance, a chore, a bother?
There are a host of issues that stem from a distain for the blessing of children, which I will not cover here. I think the thing that hit me the most was sadness for this man who, if he continues to love his "freedom" from changing diapers enough to never become a father, will never know the joy of raising children.
I'm not pretending that motherhood is a dream of snuggling, nursing, a perfect house and a perfectly sane mama. Please. I have a 15-month old who climbs bookshelves and eats garbage and drinks toilet water whenever he gets the chance. My life is cray-cray. But it's beautiful at the same time, and points me inevitably to Jesus. The moments when my son brings me a book, plops down in my lap, and breaths a huge sigh of relief as I read to him reminds me how I can always find rest and total acceptance in my Father's lap. When he is hurt, scared, or tired and comes running to my arms, knowing that I will hold him, reminds me that my Father is not begrudging but eager. When he chooses not to listen to me, I feel some of the pain my Father feels when I don't do what he says. This beautiful, sanctifying journey of parenthood is not something I would wish for anyone to miss.
I am not saying that you must have children to be happy or to know God deeply. To my friends who are still awaiting this blessing: I long and weep and pray for you. I yearn to feel how you feel. Your love for your unborn - no, your not-yet-existing - children is beautiful and precious to God.
Let's all stop and check our hearts on how we look at children in our day and age. Even if we don't have children of our own, do we see them as a nuisance? Style-crampers? "Cute....but too much work for me!" ? According to Psalm 127:3a "Behold, children are an inheritance [a gift] from the Lord."
If you don't have children yet, enjoy this time in your life! You can sleep in on the weekends, take spontaneous trips, enjoy a glass of wine whenever you feel like it, eat hot meals 24/7, 3 times a day! But please look forward to your future children with joy. They bring more joy to life than I would have ever dreamed. And please don't pity those of us moms who do not have those things; we would not trade our kids for all the hot meals and wake-less nights in the world. And we're not just saying that to look like we have it all together (we know we don't). There are hard days and I go to the grocery store for nothing but diapers and rotisserie chicken and I get tired of cold meals and I just want a nap....but that can never for a second stack up against the blessing of getting to participate in raising the next generation of restful, hopeful Christ-followers in a world of increasing unrest and hopelessness...OR the endless number of kisses (I have a boy....they are tackle-and-slobber on your face, whatev)that I am awarded each and every day, for no other reason than that I have been able to give birth to my own flesh and bone (no matter how much people ask me if I did anything to get him here, because he looks just like his dad. Yes. Yes I did. For 40 hours. Anyway...)
If you are reading this and you are a mother, be encouraged. You hold one of the greatest secrets to real joy - obedience to Jesus! And in the form of raising your children to know the God of the Bible - what a privilege! Let's seek to maintain that mindset when we are struggling not to find our worth in the repetitive tasks of motherhood instead of in Jesus Christ, our Hope. And let's seek to speak that blessing over our children - that they are a blessing, a heritage, a reward, to us from God.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
Are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them."
Psalm 127:3-5a
No comments:
Post a Comment